Crossup
by Dangles Arthur Khanrad
Summary: In a world... a Mysterious world... where Magic Warpos lie in every corner... is it fate that those who fall through do? are they chosen? maybe... i dunno yet
1. Chapter

Written By Dangles Arthur Khanrad and Friends.

* * *

Chapper two.

Nicage stood at the brink of war. All the forces of darkness and bad stood before his beautiful smile. The dirt from battle splashed up lika river. I like rivers... He held his breath and speak. "Woh." it wasnt much of a word but he said it, he said it good. Lika baby woould toc. So he danced, his awseom nesso faced hthe war and danced one last time.

Its not done yet.


	2. Chapr q

Fiee

Whi?

Nicols asked 'Whi we mus fight is beyond mea" hies dance was good, slowli peopl fought, an nikal danced midst ital, his dance was powrful, poqwful beyond all measns. He did it, and was well. Teh war was won, an Nicage was hapy. His sucessors held his mane, and crid. Helding no ones breth. They sung off pitch, and with bad tune. Nicolage was probubly honerd/


	3. Chapter 3a

Tuio

Nicage was burdid in the garden by a tall woman. He got prtiy flowrs for his 'spot in world' and was hipy. Tey follwers of nikoli held there feet in air an spook, offerin honor to his restin mane. Nicage beemac a symbol of hop. And was remberd well. Probubly gretly. Anyway. So his succesrs went to jerusalem to spred word of Ncageis victry an danc in battle, dey met sombudy? Prubobly for potine purposes.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Eleven.

"Wait! Sir! No, get that away from yourself!" crowds of people amassed in the center of Jerusalem's Streets, All eyes focused on a strange man, smoking drugs in the middle of the passageway. "My father comes to me, Tells me things at night. In the wee hours before twilight, He speaks of other worlds, That the plants will take you there. Ancient prophets of Rome had done the same." He was wrapped in pale cloths, covering from head to toe, hiding his dark form beneath the folds of robes. He explained his actions to the elderly woman who had approached him. He did not understand, he was under the influence of alcoholic substances, and hours of Cannabis inhalation had taken its tole on his body.

A group of Priest's Joined the crowd, They bore the symbol of the ancient Story of Nicage, The man who won the war over Persia and saved Israel from their influence. They approached the drunkard, and carried him away, leading him to a small house, laying him on folds of cloth and waving incense into the air, inducing him into slumber.

The next night, the man Awoke. But in truth, he was not a man. He was a beast, With black fur, and sharp white teeth, Auburn Stripes ran across his body. He opened his Eyes, large they were, and full of wonder. Bright green, as emeralds of foreign lands.

"Ah, You are awake,"

He turned to face the voice, Meeting gaze with an elderly Israelite. "Who are you, How did I get here?" The old man rose from his seat, Stepping forward to answer to beasts question. He stood, staring in wonder, at his Strange furred form. "You are, Truly beautiful.." He smiled, trying not to seem creepy. "Yes, of course. I am A'mario Simba;la. You were drunk most of the month. We have been watching you." The beast backed away, and took seat on the pile of cloth. "Watching me? What, who?" He shivered, his wrapping had been removed, and the night air was cold, the moonlight fell softly into the room, illuminating his shaking form.

"Here, This should be warm, I had it on the stove all day." The elder tossed a blue robe to the beast, and smiled kindly. "Thank you," The beast stood up, and draped his large form in the dark cloak, clinging it tightly around his body. "My name is aṣ-Ṣaḥrāʾ al-Kubrā It means The great Desert, But you may call me Sabah." The elder nodded.

"Yes, Sabah, We have been watching you. My guild, We follow the stars in search of a new king. Ever since the Great Nicage has fallen, our Kingdom has been left in ruin, chaos, and without order. Leaderless. We thought your father could govern us, But during your Drug-use, He has been... Lost."

Sabah stood up, still. "What?! He is gone? But father was the one who told me of the plants, I followed his words..."

A'mario sighed, "Yes, He was Subject in an overthrowing, three nights ago. And you are his only heir, We came to ask you Sabah, To ask the Ghost of Shadow to join us, To lead the Aluminati To victory over all of Persia,"


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Whatever:

"NicCage believed in himself. That was his greatest quality. God knows he didn't have many others." The man's voice rang softly across the stone floor of the courtyard, breaking the perfect stillness of the landscape and quietly breaking the bystanders' attention away from their respective thoughts. The sun was setting across the countryside, it's last rays stroking the rugged highlands of Scotland. The man speaking was balding, stooped and rather ugly, but his voice was strong and regal. "Some say he may rise again, due to his strong willpower. Remember him, and the example he set for us. Remember him, and he will still live on." The man concluded his speech, bowing to the gathering of people. "I would like to thank you all for listening to me to day, and to thank the Pope for inviting me to give this speech. It is a great honor." He proceeded to gather up his meager belongings,


	6. Chapter 7

See? I told yuO shadow was gonna peer.

"So Sabah.." A'mario began speaking. "No A'mario, this is stupid talk. If we keep our names, then we might be noticed or remembered. I mean who forgets a Cage prophet or a drug addict?!" A'mario was about to speak, but was interupted. "No Mario, dont talk. Dont argue wit me. Im better than chu." the two walked in silence for a few minutes, making way down the roads of jerusalem to the citys gate. "Fine, I shall take my wifes name. You may call me Mario." Sabah became flabbergasted. "Yes, shur. And you may call me." He stopped, turned to face you, and said deeply with intent. "Shadow. ;

Once they had left the city, and carried newborn water buffalo out into the fresh air, Mario spake. He had removed his robes and shaved his beard. He adorned a stupid mustache and red hat. Shadow, had became nekked, and proudle.

"So, you might be wondering after last week. About what I said. The Aluminati?" Shadow nodded with profession "Of course. Give me a chalk and white paper an ile splain it to yah... Im good at that-" he was interupted by a grunt and stomach convulsion. The newborn water buffalo became thirsty, and they needed to stop and breastfeed them.


	7. chip twev

Chapter five

"Sir!"

the rain had begun falling, and the crowds dispersed. stones wet with water and tears, as the pope led the multitude back into the city. The courtyard was mostly empty now. And even the Pope had left. The main attraction was the strange man, carrying a red purse away from the memorial he stood by. The shout had belonged to a young girl, running through the wet grass towards him. He looked up, and met her gaze. She was no more then five, a pale blue hoodie covered her hair, and her face was wet from the falling rain. The stooped man smiled, a rather crooked, half witted monster-like gross of a smile, but with the same kind gesture. He paused a moment, They shared the same, mustard pee colored eyes. "Oh, Hello little girl." She smiled at him, She found his crooked face, haggered hair, and lopsided smile rather comforting. "Hi sir," she peeped, sniffing soy wax from her stubby finger. The man inhaled sharply. "W-What is that strange substance you're snuffing, lass?" His fingers instinctively began reaching for it, and he tried to hold them back. It didn't work. His hand slowly reached forward against his will. The girl smiled. "Oh, this? I calls it chit, but I dunno wut its reely called. It smells grayt dow." The man gulped. "I-I-I..." He stuttered, and slammed his eyes closed. With a great effort, he grabbed his hand and cut it off. He breathed a sigh of relief, and calmly had a nervous breakdown. Then he began to bandage his stub of an arm with a rag he found on the ground. "That is a dangerous substance, young one. Please throw it into the sea." He said quietly, his eyes still closed. The girl looked confused. "But..." She looked at the man's hand that had fallen on the ground. Her pudgy lip quivered, and she threw the wax onto the hand and ran away. The man looked up. "W-wait child! What did you want?" he called, limping after her. The girl stopped at the edge of the forest, looking frightened. "I-I heard that you knew the secret." The man looked at her quizzically. "The secret?" The girl nodded. "Yes, about HIM." She said, pointing to the statue of that great and honerable man, Nic Kage. The man's eyes changed shape, and he sighed. "Yes, I do know the Secret, but it is a sad one. It must be told by a warm fire, where the comfort of friends diminishes the coldness of it. I cannot tell it here." He shook his head and began to walk away. "Wait!" , the girl called, "come to my howse, my aunt has a fireplace. It's small, but happy." The man hesitated, but then his shoulders straightened grudgingly and he muttered, "What do I have to lose? Anyone that might be harmed by the knowledge is dead. And I have no-where to go tonight." The man turned to the girl. "Very well," he said, "My name is Gerald Ivochanous Roborctnikov. What is yours?" The girl smiled, and it seemed to light up the whole world. "My name is Maria."


	8. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"woo," Ivochanous spurked. "whert ah prduy dern betful smirk..." he grinned ugily, eyes crossing from thoughts of how sexy he bilved nicage was

"wit jurst crused yur durble crused mind?" the gurl smuged, twisting her rear ended pug around her gooey mind. "whot!" she shouted as the nearest creap calmy placed his/her knee round her sweaty underpit. "tell mer burt nicage!" she scremed, pnching the twisted man/woman in the lefermost toohache. "i know saint kiser," she bellowed, "an he beh a ghust of my grandid."

"whoo," Chanos spatled, willing himself to become a full blooded cracking egg... "nicage," he brethed, taking a wiff of sour thoughts. "lovly," he walked over to the other ed of the world. "ed?" he wondered... pur man... "muria?" he migled. She furled him round the wurld an back... pur wumon... wut a wondrus frend...


	9. Patooie!

Chapter 6

"So Sabah- Shadow... Sorry, How did yer eyes chang'a" Mario asked the young boyfriend as he walked down the dessert lane, caressing his sore nipples. "Oh, yeah shur. Drugs and stuff. Changed my hair too." he pointed to his now red streaks. "Oh yes." Mario looked scared, at the throbbing red, pulsating, bubbiling boiling, cracking, swaetiy nipples of shadow. "DEAR CHEESEFREAK!" He engulfed perchlorate. "We must do something about those." he looked off into the distance, They were miles away from any civilization or monkey territory. Only santa wandered on the other side of the dessert. "Jerusalem is far away... Syria... where is syria?" he sqauted down, and began looking around in the dust for the town of syria. "Mary look!" Shadow pointedly flailed into the distance, Where a brown tent, blending into the sand, and resembling a mountain. "Here, carry them. Im wek" Shadow handed the two baby water buffalo to mario, he had stronger nipples, and produced more milk. Shadow began flapping his arms, and flew to the tent, awqwardly floating with the air. They reached the tent, and went inside without kwestjun. "Blue Children of the Lords best wisemen!" a sleeping orangutan was awoke. "My my!" Mario was also surprised. "What ur you doin in mah house!" she began spitting a shadow. "Wait no! Dont hurt him! His nipples are sore!" the orangutan calmed, and stopped throwing saliva at the boy. "Oh.. poor young one." she sniffed a tear, staring at shadow's nipples. She smeared the tear all over Shadows nipples. Shadow became instantly relieved. "Oh, thank you guy." the orangutan smiled. "Well, iem a girl. Mah names Stanli Wydnir." she smiled. Shadow nodded, releasing a methane fuel from his butt. "Thats good Fuel! It kould power us across the lanits!" Stanli stood up, and led them out of her tent. She gave blankets and food to the water buffalo, and chocolate grape crapes to mario. "Here." she pointed to her tropid standing dessert driver. "S'been not werkin for minutes!?" She smiled. "If yuh want, I can fly you out of the desert. I need to relocate my tent anyway. That butt produces good fuels for its engines, just spread its opening over this tank here." She pointed to the gas tank, and shadow began releasing weaks of beanfats into it. It turned on like a charm. "Here." She packed up her things, and folded her tent. They drove the machine with their feet out of the desert at seventy five miles an hour.


	10. Post Chapters Scene

Post Chapters Scene.

The beautiful monkey named Dangles Arthur Khanrad, sat beside the fireplace in his treehouse and sighed. "The wondrus gifts of me." He understood what this meant. For I, am him. I am Dangles Arthur Khanrad.

So a War broke out between Persia and Israel, Persia wanted power. A great man named Nicage fought the war with his soldiers, and won, however not without passing into another world. His soldiers became priests after the war was one, and called themselves the Aluminati. Years passed. A young hedgehog boy began doing drug-like substances in Jerusalem, and this attracted the attention of the Aluminati The drugs were so powerful they began altering his physical appearance. An old member of the Aluminati named A'mario, came and helped Sabah, the young hedgehog. Sabah agreed to help A'mario to lead the Aluminati into overthrowing Persia, out of revenge for Nicage's passing. A'mario and Sabah left Jerusalem, passing there escape under fake names, Mario and Shadow. They also carried newborn water buffalo into the fresh desert air, as a fake escape, saying that they were taking them to new pastures. Meanwhile, in Scotland far away, word was being spread of Nicage's history, a man saying he may rise again, due to his awesomeness. A little girl became interested, and shows the man some soy wax, calling it chit. Meaning piece of paper. The man he was speaking of Nicage, becomes anxious, and amputates his hand. He tells the girl his name is Ivochanous, and she shares her own as Maria. In the desert, Shadow has become weary after breastfeeding the two baby water buffalo. They find a tent, where they meet Stanli Wydnir. Which is pronounced, Stan lih widd nerr. She agrees to take them out of the desert, and provides ointment for shadows nipples. Meanwhile, Maria demands Ivachanous to tell her about Nicage, she explains that she knows of somone names saint kiser, whoever that nerd is. Ivochanous becomes a bloody egg, and hatches anew. He finds ed on the worlds end, and speaks with it. After Migle-ing, The plot-line has not yet become apparent.

I am Dangles Arthur Khanrad, and this, is where we stand.


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter ten.

"Dude." the man said, he didn't like saying it but he had to, so he said it anyway. He spoke it to a multitude of flowers. "Is this Ivochanous?" the chief flower asked. The man responded, "oh yeah. I did not want to return to you oh king of flowers, but I need your help. Maria, my niece, has been captured. I need from you a whisper, a favor, and a secret to be kept." the king twiddled his flumbridges glumly, "after what you have done, I cannot say I should help you." he replied, "But... I also know of the many other things you have done, the great things as well as the bad." the king spit out his tongue. "very well, I shall help you." he said. "Let us start in the order of which he spoke, first the whisper, then a favor, and a secret to be kept. Whisper to me Ivochanous, whisper slowly." so the man whispered, it was a single word spoken in three parts. "Fire, flaw, rumble." the whisper was spoken with such softness that it drew out listenishnish from the king, causing his frumbildidges to scrum forward, straining to hear. He still didn't hear it, but the whisper poured into his pedals and down to his roots, and pulled out the problems and flowered his fruits. The king became fribbled and pumpkins abound at the edges of the garden, where the whisper would sound. The king nodded, he couldn't tell when the whisper had started, and if it ended, but he didn't care for he knew it was there. "Frumbildges! You have empowered me Ivochanous! What favor shall I do for you in return?" Ivochanous looked sadly into the horizon, "I need you to stop the sun for me oh king, and time, and winter, and all the things in between." he said It directly with no waiting or pause, and without any luv and without any flaws. The king nodded, a second time, for the favor seemed not great unto him. "Yes ivochanous, and now for the secret." He paused, "Now, for this kind of secret, tell it not unto me, but unto my children who cannot speak, for they will soak it up as the sunlight, and it shall be obscured." and with that the king withdrew his pedals around his face and returned to the ground. And as the sun was setting, and the last rays drifted over the Scottish moors, Ivochanous blew the secret into the wind, and the little flowers took it up gleefully and with great care.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 80**

"Uh, uh," Shadow panted, trying to catch his breath. Mario looked at him and sneered. "a-whya don-ta ya taka a-breaka a-Shadaho?" he asked, taking the water buffalo from the poor hedgehog's aching chest. Shading nodded, relieved. "Tanks man, I-I am prehty tired." he waved awkwardly at the plumber, and went into their sorry excuse for a tent.

Stanli Wydner was off getting water for the stupid ingrates, who she had grown very fond of.

Once inside, the dark hedghog looked around sharply. He pulled his footbags off, and made sure there weren't any bugs inside. Then he put them back on. He looked around the tent and made sure no one was listening. Then he dug under the sand several inches, making sure no-one was listening. He picked up the extra-large footbag they used for a bed and whispered loudly, "Who's dare?!" he set it down, satisfied no-one was around, and lied down next to the huge open space in the left side of the tent (or: the huge empty space they had for a tent). Shadow reached slowly and reverently into his lower-left neck pouch, and pulled out a small book. It was wrapped in a dark material, with redish fur-like streaks across it. Shadow pulled a quill out of his scalp, and with a sharp stab, poked it into his foearm. A drop of red blood glistened on the tip of the quill, and with it, shadow began carefully writing.

Mario saw shadow writing. He had been standing there for about 3 days, watching him write non-stop, "A-shadahoe, Stanli hasn't returneda, an awm worreed stiffa." Then he saw the book. "WOAAAHHH, wut yoo a-ritin dare a-son?" Shadow screamed. He let out a bricklingly overrated noise. "ARRRRHHHHHRawoBBOMAbEEERRREEEEEmnm." The cry echoed into the desert, bouncing off the imaginary walls of nothingness. The echo reechoed off the insides of Stanli's mouth and into her brain. She had fainted from lack of exastion on the other side of no-where, and was lying with her mouth open towards the brilliant night sky. The terrible hedghog scream shook the heavens, and knocked a lonely star loose from it's percarious perch at the edge of time. The star fell, slowly, then quickly, then slowly again, leaving a trail of sparkles across the silent, howling, desert sky. Finally, the star fell and made a tight circle, and, as fate would have it, fell into Stanli's open mouth.

The purple orangutan woke up with a shock. Drool fell down the sides of her mouth. "Muh, baybus scremin." She yelled, trying to form the words around the odd thing in her mouth. "Uh- wuts in muh muth, uh." She blurbed. She tried to snort it up, but with no success. "ARRRAMbaUhhooowww!" came the poor Shadow's scream again(though it was actually the first scream re-echoing a 2nd or 9th time) Stanli heard it, and became determined. "If yao wont go owt, gouh in." and with that, she swalloed the burning ball of cosmic light, and ran off to save her hun-hun.

Back at camp: Mario's eyes were glued to the book. He didn't hear the screams, or see how distressed he had made his poor friend. His ears had been deadened by the constant silence of the burning hills, and his mind numbed by the constant barrage of bad jokes. He just wanted to find out what was in the book. Shadow's scream dyed down to a throbbing moan, and Mario started to form words again. "Thu- a-thu" He gulped, and his mind sharpened just a bit. He saw his friends tears streaking down his cheak fur and onto the book he was holding. Mario, looked at the book, with the dark, red stripped cover, and back at the dark, red stripped hedgehog. As stupid as he was, Mario noticed that they looked the same. "a-dood, y-yoo, y-oo, kilta youselfa ta maka dat booka!" he whisped hoarsly. "Awhy-a would ya do dat-a?" Shadow was still overcome with emotion. He wouldn't speak. A-Mario bent down and pretended to hug his friend. "It musta be an imprtant-a book." He said. And with that, he vowed to find out what was in it one day.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen. 

Ivochanous sighed, the dust in the room lay unsettled, and the mist in the air fell alive, the flame from the stone littered pedals, burning and blooming into night. "Where, are you Child?... Why can't I find you... Where are the tunes you, used... to-oo sing. Where is the starlight? You would remember... I feel like falling down, to-oo-oo-oo... oo cry..." Ivochanous sung himself to sleep, tears falling from his old face, rocking gently in the chair near the fire. Wishing one day, he would see that wondrous girl again.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen.

"Shadow!" Mario's clean Italian voice sounded through the dessert sands. "Where is my boi-a?! He tripped, falling into the dust. "Mario whats wrong?" Stanli came running, and helped the man unto his feet. "Fire is coming."

The two ran towards the tent, Shadow lay sleeping within, cradling the Buffalo tightly In his arms. "Shadow!" Mario burst through the cloths, and screamed into shadows drooping ears. He didn't wake. "Mario! Mario! Mario!" it was the stench of onions on Mario's breath that awoke him. "Whats gone?" he rose up, carefully holding the children. "The-a dessert is heating up, Cacti have-a lit aflame! We need to get the water buffalo out of the sand!" They hurriedly packed the tent, and drove Stanli's floating sandboard out of the dessert. The lasting burns of the desert left them. And they fled into the jungle.

Far through the tropic trees, and Atlantic oceans, the three drove valiantly out through the wind.

"Oh itsa me! Amario!" The young man cried sadly, hating to see their home fall away behind them. He snifled faintly, his tears like crystals falling from bright sapphire gems. He turned to Shadow and watched the collapsed hedgehog breathe evenly. His breath caught in his throat as he beheld the creature cradling the water buffalo in ebony arms as if they were his own children. "Beauty," he breathed, stroking the crimson streaks of his companion. "I'v-a never seen anything so... beautiful..."

The sandboard landed softly near the bare stump of a chopped down tree as the mustached man stared joyfully at his best friend. Stanli gasped, putting on the breaks and jumping out.

"Mario!" she hissed, poking at the stump. "Come see this!" But when she turned around to look for the plumber, her whole world plunged into unforgivable black.

_**. . .**_

"What should we do with them, Princess?" A strange, French voice laced with the want to impress filled Shadow's ears, bringing him awake and blinking.

"Whu..." He blinked and the world came into view. A formal looking chipmunk stood before him, red hair curly and wild and blue eyes sparkling. Beside her stood a properly dressed coyote with his hand on a sword, watching him with plain distrust. And behind the French coyote slouched a cowgirl rabbit, hat cocked to the side and face expressionless.

"Who are you and what do you wish with Knothole?" The coyote had his sword out and pointed at Shadow's throat, making him gulp down saliva crackling with Chaos energy.

"Twan, calm down sugah," the rabbit drawled, lowering her companion's sword with what appeared to be... a robotic arm... "Let's see what tha Princess has ta say."

The chipmunk nodded her thanks and smiled a slow, amused, and utterly gorgeous smile that sent Shadow's heart aflutter. "I'm Sally, Princess of Mobius and leader of the Freedom Fighters. It would be appreciated if you tell us who you are, and what your intentions may be. I don't know how long I can contain Antione from slitting your throat."


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen.

"I believe, I Understand. I wish my own soul to be saved, from unforgivable banishment. Agh!" old broken sighs and worn, reused burps hit unto the obsidian platform that was Nicages tomb. "I feel life!" his whole sight floated through the universe, beautiful stars, colors, magnificient... life. "I dont care, Go on and tare me apart. I dont care if you do, Cause in a sky full of stars I think I saw you!" drums began to play, as heart rythmed with beauty and flight. "Love light sheen understanding.!" flutes echoed the songs of his mind, playing the words of his heart. "I wish to die in your arms, becoming brighter the more it gets dark... I give you my heart." he smiled, rising from the dust, and becoming light. Walking on brilliant glorious, nice looking legs. Nicage arose once more, and gave his promise to those who left him behind. "Distance was once my friend. No more." His eyes blinked for the first time in centuries. His new body arose in the land of Scotland, far away from the battle fields he used to walk.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen.

"My name is Shadow, Mario, Stanli, Keven, and Afleck." Shadow pointed to his friend, then to Stanli and at the water buffalo. "We are escorting this fine babies unto fineist of pastures." Shadow chuckled trying to seem real, to say the least... he was not good at that. He gave his best of smiles, which compared to Mario's worst smile, seemed absolutely horrid. "Fool, What is your real intention." Although the rabbit seemed tricked by Shadows words, hot smile and hairy chest. Sally Acorn was not amused. Mario stepped forward, taking off his hat. He, was an expert. "My-a apologies princess, What the boi-a says is-a true. He is-a simply rather drama-atic." he bowed, kindly and neatly. "The-a desert-a was-a onn-a fire-a, and-a these-a children-a were-a in-a danger-a" His convincing tone, and cloaking a's, he seemed to tell the truth. "Very well." the chipmunk frowned, and approached the stump. She poured water from a canteen from her belt onto Stanli, and looked at Shadow. "We still have questions, Follow us." she opened the false top on the stump, and leaped down, followed by the rabbit. Shadow flimbaugged down, screaming and flailing like an unborn wafflehouse. Stanli shook her head, looking at Mario. "You, pizza man, go next." Antoinette pushed Mario forward, who shook with fear. "Come on Mario, your used to jumping down pipes, don't tell me this scares ya?" Stanli chuckled, and Mario popped down the stump. Stanli followed, and Antoinette closed the lid, jumping last.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen.

The sunrise stopped and fell away, fading into a dim light that would always glow solely in the back of one's wildest imagination. Winter crumbled to a dust so gray that ashes began to fall and burn the tongues of lairs and heathens. Time had stopped, just as Ivachonous had asked, and now he wandered the edges of eternity to find his lost niece.

"Ave Marieeeia," he murmured to the stilled winds, washing his hands in the blood of his enemies. Sadly, it was literal. But not so sadly, his enemies were imaginary. Just figments of his lonely imagination. The poor man, fallen to the bottomless pit of insanity that exists only to those who follow the path of frozen, eternal, paralyzed moments. He sighed and looked to the sky, wishing everything wasn't so steampunk. He hated steampunk. His favorite genre was... romance... Why couldn't the stars be filled with hearts, red and white like a bright Valentines Day? He loved Valentines Day. He always got lots of chocolates and flowers and just general things covered in frilly pink. He began to cry at the memories, realizing he would never again get to dress in beautiful tutus and dance in a field of roses as he ate chocolate scrumets made from freshly pressed mustard seeds... He sighed and looked to the ground.

"Why oh why did I ask that flower king to freeze time?" he bawled to the pagans that hopped up and down on recited bible verses. "It's rather poetic, though, isn't it?" He looked sadly at the stub of his cut-off hand, baffled as to why he would remove such a lovely thing. "I can no longer give my best friend the middle finger..." He sighed and shook his head. "Where was I? Ah, yes, I was saying how poetic it is. I love flowers and the whole shebang, and yet, I asked a flower to be my doom..." He paused and turned to the sky, wondering if that was Jesus he saw in the distance or just the reincarnated Nicage dressing as everyone again. "Why did I ask the flower king to stop time?" Tinkerbell reached over and punched him in the head, reminding him with a fistful of pixie dust why he would do something so ridicules. "Maria!" he shouted. "I froze time because Maria is kidnapped!" He stopped for a moment as realization hit him even harder than Tinkerbell. "Did the other Ed of the world kidnap her? Or was it Abraham?" He gasped and his heart thundered. "Abraham Tower, the Commander of GUN, or Abraham from the Bible?"


	18. Chapter 18, Ga

Chapter Eighteen.

"Sir, I pwomise you we ment no harm." Shadow bulbered like bella as Antoine carried him away, the coyote was offended that he had called him Antoinette. "SHURE!" shadow begged like a previously hatched wiffernavel. "Follow us. We have more questions." Sally acorn said again as she led the group down the halls of an underground base. Small footprints shown in the mud where imps had walked days ago. "Why were you gone so long?!" when they reached an open room, a short mushroom headed person, turned around on his chair to meet them. "Toad?!" Mario looked shocked. "What-a are you doin a-here?!" he grabbed his head and beeped. "Oohwa!" toad laughed, thinking he looked like a proffesional brontosaurus as he grabbed his belly and kicked his legs in the air, shoving his head back and tiling his spring-set chair. "Toad, you look silly!" Mario shouted the warning to his friend, fighting as sally held him back. Shadow stepped forward, looking at all the screens and technology that filled the walls. "This is cool shtuff." he mumbled.

Wheels and gears, random things that looked like they came from a steampunk fantasy novel or tarot deck, came rolling out of anoher room, clanging and banging sounded too!- After twelve seconds, a walrus stepped out, adorned in brown cloth and with a wrench slung over his shoulder. He lowered the goggles on his forehead over his eyes, and spoke.

"Things just got Serious."


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen.

Swooning women.. and men... and children... maybe a dog or two, were quieted because Nicage walked in a dark cardigan and elegant mini-skirt, covering his face with a motorcycle helmet he had all taken from strangers in the night. He walked down the cobblestone streets of the green hills, departing from where his tomb once stood, now broken and empty as his body was restored. His very beautiful nice lookin legs walked quickly, steady taps from his toes, one foot in front of the other. As the reletively awsome man neared the gates of the curious town, he noticed people praying on the grass, a storm was rising, and they were giving final blessings to the lost.

"Ma'am! Please, donate to our church... help to support the children in need of hope." Nicage was interupted by an old man standing just outside the carbon-steel-aircraft-aluminum gates. He notice how he had mistaken his identity, and was pleased. He nodded, dropping a few copper coins into the outstretched offering plate. "Blesses from above keep you.." the man smiled, delighted and happy with Nicages decision. Nicage laughed to himself, remembering how he had been revived after centuries of fighting the war to save those he loved, this man had no idea how blessed he was. So he said it, "You have no idea,"

then nicage parted from the presence of he, and entered in to the city of quiet sainthood. Children and small piglets ran through the sandstone streets, gathering fruit from their markets, as to not be spoiled by the rain and thunder. Nicage discarded his attire in a basket full of clothes that a woman was running to collect, she did not know how to thank him, and he did not expect one from her, there was no need. Nicage made way down through the emptying streets, the brown common cloak he was buried in began to reform, and take shape with renewed matter around his body. The popes house came into view, the councilman's home. Nicage looked to a wondering/wandering child, blinking up at him from the streets, not recognizing the stranger. "Who are you?" the small person asked in a plea. Nicage smiled, and thought to himself. "Sam.. I am Sam."


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty.

Gerald Ivochanous Roborctnikov marched sullenly though the empty fields of twilight. Mirrors and memories clouded his sight, and he began to lose his way. "Maria!" he shouted, clear and plain, the waves of his voice ruptured through eternity, creating a behemoth of questions he could not answer. He had no idea what he would do in this eternal void, his friend was lost, and he could not find her. But soon, he noticed forming the sea of blood ahead, and looked at his arm stub. A residue of the soy wax, or chit as Maria had called it, still remained on his arm. "The scent! It can lead me!" he sniffed the wax, and all the trails and paths opened before his eyes, he broke through the mirrors of twilight, and found to the paths of where his niece had once walked. "Maria!"

**. . .**

Shadow nudged his Italian friends arm. "I heard somone... calling my name-a." Mario looked around, confused, it was the shout of Ivochanous, a man he once knew. Suddenly, the stories and memories of his Israel ancestry seemed to leave him. Days of wanting to destroy Persia in the name of Nicage, for the Aluminati, but he was a new man now, and the name meant nothing. "We have changed Shadow.. we-a are not-a the same men who-a left jerusalem..." he looked up, catching his friends eye. The walrus tinkered away, sharing conversation with Toad, but he caught sound of the discussion, and turned to speak with them. "Jerusalem?" he asked, looking at Mario. "It... It is a name I-a cannot quite-a remember." and though they could not see it, through the travels of time, A'mario Simba;la, and Sabah, had become not only different men, but in a different world.

"Its from stories, a false place." The Rabbit came up, answering the question both Mario and her friend had asked, Shadow looked away, somewhat confused on the situation. "Not such, Bunny, it was said to be from another world." Sally Acorn turned from her place at the central computer screen, and gestured for Antoine to check the security of their hideout. "But.." Shadow blushed as sally made eye contact, and he frimbled for a moment or two. "What lies beyond the dessert.. what do you believe?" Sally raised her eyebrow, considering. "We cant know, Only Ruchavik has observed outside the jungle, and not very well." she again left, leaving Shadow to wonder. The walrus laughed, watching as his princess left the small group. "Only my dad calls me that..." he looked to shadow, realizing he had not introduced himself. "Oh, Folks call me Rotor round' here, and by my calculations, nothings off the coast but water. Where you claim to come from, its just Ocean." he looked around, lowering his voice to not be made fun of.

"I'd say you fellows came through a gateway, you came from across the magic Sea."


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty One.

As Shadow blushed over Sally and Mario forgot his past, Stanli was having a stomach ache. Not the kind that makes you want to throw up, but the kind that makes you realize you swallowed a star. Now, Stanli had forgoten that she had swallowed a star, but when Mario said he was a new man than before, it reminded her that she was becoming a new person as well. Her stomach acid fizzled, twisting around her organs and making her fat. Slowly she became a human man with scrangly, thin, and somewhat curly hair. "My name is Peter Jackson," the now he said. "And I will make cuel muvies burt my favorite turd, Orlando Bloom..."

_**. . .**_

The reason Sally snootily left her friends talking about Jerusalem, was because she wanted to rummage around the sandboard that Stanli, Shadow, Mario, Kevin and Affleck had arrived on. Not because she didn't trust them and wanted to make sure they had come with no weapons, but because she was a nosy little princess that liked to rummage through other people's belongings.

"My oh my," she giggled to herself, rubbing her hands evilly in a way that would have made Peter Dinklage proud. She moved aside the ratty blankets that knotted themselves around and through the sandboard and found nothing but a book. Strangely enough, it looked exactly like that fool Shadow. "Me oh mioh," she squeaked. "He killed himself to make a diary. It must be very important and personal to him." She opened it and began to read it...

"_I was in pain, terrible pain, as I removed the lushes skin from my behind to bring this book into reality. But I had to do it. You see, being an anthropomorphic hedgehog who was created in a drug shack by a man named Ganondorf, I had no soul. So I decided that I would create myself one, with this beautious diary. I hope you understand, my beautiful booty."_

"Oh, oh, oh," was all Sally could say, tears running down her fair cheeks as she read of how her prisoner had made such a selfless sacrifice. "How could I be so cruel to you when you sacrificed yourself for this?! How could I not see how you made the world better by removing your butt skin to forge yourself a soul?! I'm so sorry, Shadow. Now I shall search through time and space in search of redemption..." And so Sally left on her journey to find forgiveness...


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty Two,

Nicage, under new identity as Sam, marched up the pure diamond steps of the popes personal home. He waved his hand, chanting a spell to open the door, but for some reason his powers had not been revived with him, and he resorted to knocking. A moment later, an elderly Scottish woman answered, looking him up and down, pausing at the sight of his legs as his cloak wavering in the storming winds. "May I have a word, with pope Francis?" he asked, looking amazingly handsome to the old woman, who had no husband of her own, and loved the sight of new pretties. "Well, I suppose he'd like to know whose asking for him." she fluttered her eyes, and wavered her hips as she asked the question. Nicage Smiled. "Sam, Samwise Gamgee."

"My name is Philip Coulsen, but the master calls me Philo," The old woman looked back at Sam as she led him up the stairs, he nodded. "A pleasure to meet you Philo." She wiggled her rear at him, hoping to gauge a reaction, but too soon the door at the top of the stairwell slammed open, and the fat naked pope stormed out. Luckily for the standards of societies decency, his fat rolls covered his privates, and the smell of bath-soap covered his sweaty stench. The two pasued at the stairs peak, and Sam stepped forward. "Mr. Pope." he lowered his head, greeting to the glorious man with a kind gesture. "Please, call me Francis." the pope with facial hair outreached a hand, and Sam willingly shook it. The curious man reached underneath his cloak, and brought out a letter. Sam lifted his eyes and spoke. "I believe we have a lot to discuss."


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty Three.

"Cause in a sky, cause in a sky full of stars... that's where I found you-oooo!" Ivochanous bolted alive from this singing, opening his once closed eyelids that covered the things that allowed him sight. "I don't caare if you wannaa taaare twilight apart, cause I found you-oooo!" He looked around and realized that he was in a field of sorts, surrounded by the brightest green of grasses and a fire place in the middle of it all.

"woah?" he asked, rising to his crippled knees. He winced as he pushed up to his planterphashites feet and wished he had bolts implanted in his knees to keep them from bending. "but what good would that do?" he asked himself. "I suppose it would keep them from crumbling?" he shrugged innocently. "I don't know... If god wanted me to have bad knees, then I shall accept that..."

"Yo live, homie?" a masculine/feminine voice asked in a childish tone.

"woah!" Ivochanous screamed, wondering if the person singing to him had been man, woman, or child. "DOES IT MATTER?" he cried, turning sadly around to view the speaker. Before him stood a young man with the flowing brown hair of a sexy lady and the innocent face of a genderless child. "Oh..." Ivo realized, finally understanding something... He didn't know what it was, though.

"I'm Linkon, and I want to be your friend," the person announced proudly. "What's your name, egg shaped person that I recently divorced?"

"Wha?" Iva said hopefully, wondering at the homies strange words. "I-I... I AM THE EGGMAN, THAT'S WHO I AM, I AM THE EGGMAN, I'VE GOT THE MASTER PLAN!" He smiled belittleingly at Linkon. "Why is your name Linkon, strange person that kidnapped me?"

The boy blinked and suddenly burst into tears. "Uh, uh, uh, I don't know!" He fell to his knees and cried into the earth. "I just want to know why Ganondorf did something so in-human as make an anthropomorphic hedgehog in a drug shaft and forgot to give him a soul?!"

"Wha?" Ivo sighed. "Your father created my nephew? I should have known... It is time for me to call upon the power of Tinkerbell."


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty Four.

The man grunted, his face turning purple. "Come, o' great one! Rise, rise from the depths of the otherworld. Rise, and SHOW US YOUR LIGHT!" His words echoed across the young man's face, striking him with awe. "Uh, what's up." Link whispered. "Yeah, uh, yeah. What up." He nodded slowly, carefully removing some wax from his eyelash. Ivo put his fingers to his lips. "KEEP QUIET BOI!" he screamed. "I'm expecting something to happen." He waited, but eternity passed away, and still nothing. He sighed, and put his head in his hands. "I, I always knew I was a failure. I failed my son, and my mother. I failed Nicage. Everyone." He sobbed his life away. Link looked at him blankly and handed him a napkin. Ivo looked up. "F-for me? Really?" he whispered. Link shrugged and nodded. This terrible sadness struck him so hard that he became mute. Ivo took the napkin and sobbed his heart out into it. He threw the napikin on the ground, and looked up suddenly. A dark, evil grin spread across his face. "Oohhhh, ho, ho hoooo! I feel so free now." He grabbed the confused lad in front of him and said, "Come on son, I have a plan." And with that, he stalked off into the enternal sunset that the Flower King had made for him, dragging the lad with him. The boy looked sadly and dumbly back at his old home. As it the place grew farther away, he suddenly saw a light appear from the fallen napkin. A squeak came out of it. That's all.


	25. Chapter хорин таван

_**Chapter Twenty Five**_

As Shadow and Mario discussed with rotor, Toad was left to fuss about his computer writing fanfiction about twilight. He had just written the last chapter, and decided to publish his fanfiction as a book, _"I need a new name for Edward... and Bellah."_ he thought _"Wait I know! Muslim Blue, for Edward, Elsa Tin for Bellah!" _hepublished his book, and received a single tomato for his difficult work. Anyway... Peter Jackson stood at the back of the group, not yet noticed. He heard Antione returning from his security check, and snuck away into a sloping hall into a secret back room, via a swinging cloth drape.

Peter stumbled down the window/winding tunnel falling forward, Stanli was not used to being fat, and being a new person it was hard to get used to. He reached the corridors end, where he found a titanium door with high tech electrical locks. Luckily, the freedom fighters had incorporated Peter Jackson's fingerprints into all of there archives years ago when Knothole Undground was first built. He scanned his finger on the electric padlock, and entered the room. There, in the center of the round chamber, stood upright a containment stasis pod. Inside, through the blue light and mist, was the unmistakable face of a lynx. Most of her body was composed of old world robotic parts, but mildly updated with some better functionality. Clearly she had not been worked on in years. Pipes were broken in certain places, and dust covered the whole room, even the blue light emitting from inside the pod was dimming. "Wow, she must be working terribly..." Peter commented, lifting his foot, noticing spilled stasis containment fluid on his bare foot. He shook often and became cold. Through the glass of the containment pod, for even a moment, he could feel eyes watching him, a cold fading stare. "Wait.." he said, stepping towards the pod, "It's not a robot. She's a cybrog." On the pods base, dusty, but noticeable was a name panel. Peter stepped forward and brushed it clean. He read aloud the name of the figure before him, and looked into her waking eyes. "N.I.K.O.L"

**_)()(_**

"As you said... a lot too discuss." Pope Francis came out from behind his dressing-shield, and sat at his desk in a luxurious tutu made of floss. "The Peace World Treaty has been broken. On four accounts in the nebula crater, amidst the sea of lost googo's on the lunar surface of mars lefthand moon." Samwise looked at the Pope, whom nodded. "Ueah, but aside from that, this letter contains cool stuff." Sam laughed, "Yeah, jus thought i'd mention it. We _should _turn our attention back to the paper..." the francis continued reading. "No... Orlando? When did he escape?!" Sam nodded, profoundly remembering when he first wrote the letter. "Monday, fifteen injured during his breakout." The Pope shed an honest tear. "Oh what acne... where is he now?" Sam reached into his pocket, bringing out the small Orlando Bloom, tied up with twine.

"Hes. Right. Here."


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty Six.

As Ivochanous and Linkon walked away into the eternal sunset, deep prying eyes watched them from afar. A large figure stooped, picked up the squeaked napkin, and crumpled it in their hand.

Unknowing, Ivochanous and Link continued skipping across the lilies of forever in bloom. Link turned mid-run, and tried to ask Ivochanous what his plan was, using facial expressions, but the old man ignored him.

**aaa**

"What is your name?."

"N..I.. ..l"

"Tell me your Story, Nikol." Peter Jackson felt the stasis liquid on his foot give way. And he sat back, listening to the struggling cyborg speak. He re-connected pipes, and increased oxygen flow from the computer to help her as she spoke.

"Five Thousand Years Ago, in the world of Nicage. I fought in the wars of blood and magic. I was one of the best warriors, I stood by his side, I buried him in death.. I was always there for him, and him for me. Years after his passing, our enemy sought to destroy his bloodline, and targeted me. I was a tall lynx then, and my name was Nicole. I was fatally wounded, and I was going to die. His mages flew me across the magic sea, into another world. but even there I was brought into war, I suppose it was my fate. The Freedom Fighters they called themselves, a misfit band of animals who fought a man who had come from another time. His name was Robotnik, a future child of the past. He had destroyed most of their strongholds and threatened the people. I was aided there, they gave me this robotic shell, and I fought with them. We retreated underground, and offered a sacrifice so he would stop attacking us. We exchanged Sonic the Hedghog for our freedom, and he never messed with us again. But this technology poisened me, I was allergic to its form, and they brought me down here, three hundered years ago. I have been in stasis for centuries. Peter.. Ja-ackssson.. Free me.. Free m-eee."

Her voice began to crackle, and static faded over the control screen of her monitor. Peter Jackson shut down her voice synthesizer, and sighed. "I will make this right. But I first owe another people. I promise I will return."

**HUH**

Ivochanous continued his climb up the growing mountain, Link clung to his girlish fairy boots, and wished he had a muffin to eat. No longer would he be mistaken for a Mexican, for he had no burrito to chew. "Whats the Plan!" he wish he could say, but Ivochanous said it for him, and Link sighed.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty Seven

_Whisper, whisper, whisper._ The green man with sexily ugly red hair froze, the crumpled napkin in his wrinkled hand wriggling. _Whisper, whisper, whisper. _He pried open his stiff fingers to gaze at the woorgling thing and his gold eyes bugged out like the fourth of July! _'Cause baby you're a fiiirre work...'_ "Wha?" the bulky man gasped. "Who dare sing the sacred theme song of Kim Jong Un?" He snarled at the crumbed up napkin and reached angrily towards it, (despite the fact that he held it in his hand already) unwrapping its deformed form to uncover the unholy beast that slumbered inside of it. "Who are you?" he bellowed, unable to make out what was in his hand due to the overly blinding light.

Once the delicate light faded, a young fairy peered out at the large man. _'Hello, Ganon.'_ The creature whispered in its small voice. _'My name is Navi, and I am here to help you find your evil son, Linkon, before he becomes the President of Vampire slayers.'_

_**WTF?(the F stands for... Fiberglassed...)**_

Sally trudged through the forest, crying softly as she held the rotting book made from a sacrificed hedgehog. "I-I'm so sorry, my dear, dear Shadow... I love you..." She looked to the sky and screamed. "Why did I have to commit such a crime so that I had to leave you on my search for redemption?! " She frowned and looked back to the book, caressing it gently. "I guess I should read the rest of it..." A wicked grin stretched across her face. "Ya know, so that this 'journey to redemption' is actually worth S-H-I." Her grin widened. "Chit, I mean..." So she hopped over a mud puddle and opened the book again...

"_I inhaled the drug for the first time, breathing it in so I could be exposed to its full badness. I giggled, and wagged my tail like a little puppy. Ooh... Since I had just preached at the Sunday alter 'bout my greatest hero, Nicage, and was doin' drugs, I started to hallucinate his beautious self. My my my... Never in my life had I seen such a glorious man... "Ohh, Nicage..." I breathed, reaching out to his face. But once my fingers brushed his grimy stubble, he transformed into a young man with the flowing brown hair of a sexy lady and the innocent face of a genderless child... "Whoo R u?" I asked just like the caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland, going as far as to blow smoke rings just like him. He was one of my other heroes, you seee. But! Back to this strange creature of diversity... He looked at me with a blank expression, his cute little girly fairy boots making his unexposed toes shine like the evening sun. "I am Linkon," he gasped, eyes buldging. "I am your brother, Shads..." I gasped, and my own eyes buldged out. But then Linkon disappeared and I passed out, and didn't wake up again until the next week! Thankfully by then, I had forgotten my hallucination, because if I remembered it, it would complicate life too much. ;)"_

Sally gasped and covered her mouth, bouncing over a few bushes. "Sh-shadow..." she gushed, a blush streaming across her face. "You brave man you!" She didn't know what he had done that was so brave, but it didn't really matter because it gave Sally the strength to square her shoulders and face the forest more bravely than before. "I know now what I must do to earn forgiveness!" She cackled evilly and quickly polished her baby blue boots. "I will become, Luke Skywalker!"


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter Twenty Eight.**

Ruchavik bustled about the insides of his sternum, wishing he had interior lung warts to fend off the overly licky bushe bugs. A big beep blupped from the main monitor and everyone screamed. "Toad!" Rotor shouted with integrity and the small boy turned to him and asked flirtatiously. "Yes sir!" "Wjhat was that?" he rushed to the monitor and began scanning the surrounding fields with the satellites placed on trees. Toad slowly stood up, already knowing what was going on. "Its Him." Shadow looked confused, and Mario made the small hot hedgehog ask, "Who?" Toad smiled, corrupted evil for a second by his fanfiction "Him. Hes back! THE ONE! THAT DUDE!" his pants fell off and he stooped to retrieve them. Suddenly, a blue burst of lightning flashed through the room knocking everyone down with wind, heading into the ancient hall. The lights flickered and the room shook. Toad Peed Himself. "No! it's going into the chamber!" Toad rushed to the door which Peter Jackson had entered about an hour ago, which hung open, leading to an empty room. Mr. Jackson had already left, and the lynx was nowhere to be found.

The monitors flashed again upstairs, and everyone rushed to see. "Were under attack!" Bunny shouted and ran to climb the ladder to the crows nest. Bombs were heard crashing above as trees fell, though the small group remained safe within their stronghold, and waited the rumbling out.

About ten minutes later,

Bunny, Antoine, Toad, Rotor, Shadow and Mario carrying the buffalo, all climbed out from their dark underground base. They stood amidst a field of ruin, trees crashed, burnt, most of the forest was rubble, and the blue lightning flashed in the sky afar.

**I WISH I KNEW HOW TO TRANSITION WELL!**

"No! It Burns, Keep him away!"

Philo Coulsen ran to aid the pope, whose skin was boiling, but Samwise held her back with his newfound magice powders. He held the stiff Orlando Bloom towards the popes face, who screamed in agony as he turned into glass. Soon the harsh windows ended, and the two remaining stood in the mess of the popes office. Sam punched the glass, destroying all memory of Pope Francis. "Ow!" he held his hand which had a booboo, and decided to have sucked the shapely matter from the pope, taking the form of Francis, now fat, but with similar features to his original Nicage body. He turned to face Phil, and smiled evil. "Bow down Before Me. Kneel to King Fryncage!"

Phil was too fat to bow and shed some pounds with heavy breathing. "Wow cool lets be frends," the now Fryncage suggested. "Ok!" Phil agreed, and the two set out to right the wrongs of the World. Orlando Bloom, tucked tightly in the hands of King Fryncage. He bit a finger

**So flippin dumb.**

Shadow stepped forward, feeling the crack of bones beneath his foot. He frighted, but lifted his bagged toe muscled appendage and saw only a branch. "We weren't bombed.." Toad said, limping across the wasteland, examining the scene. Bunny and Antione cried in the distance, and Mario tried to comfort them. "This must have been Robotnik." Rotor looked at him, surprised. "But our ancestors defeated him, centuries ago." Toad shook his diapered head. "He must have survived in an underground base, living off of the souls of the legacy of spain, drinking maple syrup and using stone fasts to his advantage..." Rover Nodded, "Maybe." Shadow dropped a tear, and Mario noticed while looking at his scarred backside. "Well-a what now-a?" he asked desperately grasping at straws in the sand. "We can go to Princess Sally's Castle, her parents might help us there." Antione stood up, voicing the suggestion. "Where is Sally by the way?" Bunny asked, looking around. "She's dead now. And it's up to us to right her wrongs." Toad stepped dramatically into the setting moonlight, and the group made way off to find the Castle of Acronyms.

"Stanli! Sally!" the group called, now deep in the hours of twilight, and stumbling through the forest trees, watching the growing light in the distance. "We Cannot leave them.." Shadow whined, "Stanli provide my nips with ointment! I owe her my life!" they continued in silence for a while, before reaching a clearing to the hill of which Castle Acron stood. "Oh Stanli, What has happened to you..." shadow cried one last time as they neared to steps of the castle, not expecting an answer, but an answer is exactly what he got.

"She Became a New Man."

The group paused, Looking at the aging film director whom stood at the stairs of Castle Acron. He bowed, introducing himself. "My Name Is Peter Jackson." He looked back and forth between the group. "I remember you... somewhat half-buttedly. I can recall that I swallowed a star. Thus made me who I am." Shadow looked disbelievingly at Peter. "No..." he said "You were Stanli?" the man nodded. "Yes." the group looked confused, not knowing how it had happened. They silently accepted the fact, as Peter led them into the halls of their kings and queens.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter Twenty Nine

Link gasped and blubbered and sighed, trying to get Ivochanous' attention but to no avail. It would make his life a little bit easier if he just poked him for crying out loud, but Linkon was afraid of coming in contact with those horrifying rolls of fat that made up the tall man's body. So he gasped again and inhaled the stench filled air, spitting it out again and blowing raspberries at his companions plump rear. Still the man payed him no mind. So Linkon frowned and took several steps back, winding up his legs so that he wouldn't have to do any work when he wanted to run. He then spun forward and bit down hard on Ivochanous' profound mustache, hanging from the hair like it was the only thing keeping him alive. Finally he had the aging man's attention.

"By blubbering fat, you fool! What's gotten into that pea sized brain of yours?!" He pried Link's teeth from his stache and sat him harshly on the ground. "Don't you know that this is the only thing that makes the ladies notice me? They certainly don't seem to swoon over me because of my bald head and fat injected middle!" He paused for a moment and smiled deviously. "Though the do seem to like the redness of my nose..."

Link waved his hands apologetically and stood quickly, smiling at the man's words and nodding like he understood. He then proceeded to do do jumping jacks while twerking to try and ask Ivo what their plan was. He wasn't sure it was working too well...

Ivo cleared his throat and smiled happily as he stroked his mustache, only to remember that one end was drooping quite badly due to Link's antics. So he frowned deeply, hacked up some phlegm (his version of hair spray), and smeared it in the drooping side of his mustache. Then he walked right past Linkon, going as far as to ignore the boy's profound twerking skills, and marched down another mountain. "Not too much farther to go! Just over the mountains of the moon, and down the valley of shadow!" He paused again, and Link rammed into his plushy backside. "Wait a moment... Down the valley of the _shadow?_ _**Shadow?**_" He thought long and hard about this, and Link was afraid he had died. But of course, that was not the case. "Shadow!" The insane man finally shouted. "My long lost nephew is in this very valley! Do not worry, my favored hedgehog! I shall find you and manipulate your mind so that you become a war machine and try to destroy the world!" He laughed gaily and pranced down into the valley below.

Link smiled and laughed just as gaily (if not more so) and bounced along with the old man. He was fine with the fact that Ivo was trying to destroy the world by using his brother, because he now knew what the plan was. And that's all he ever wanted; to have a plan.

_**Poo happens. You can't beat it, so join it.**_

Ganon transformed into his pig form and rammed his way through the gates of twilight, clutching the little fairy in his hoof (however that works...) and ran straight for Princess Midna. He found her rather quickly and transformed back into his handsome and highly attractive self (at least in his opinion) and charmed the girl with his smile. Again, that was mostly in his opinion...

"Hello, Minda," he said, bowing low and kissing her palm quite sloppily.

"What the uh?" Midna asked, glaring down at the slop that was spreading quickly across her skin. First he pronounces her name wrong and then he kisses her hand in a very incorrect and inappropriate manner? Just who did this handsome and highly attractive man think he was? "What yo want, Ganon?" the twilightian demanded, slapping him across the face with her spit covered palm. The saliva was now dripping down his face!

Ganon blubbered and smiled again, feeling very happy for no reason. "I want to use your twilight mirror to find my least favorite son Linkon!" He grinned evily, showing his badly cracked and yellowed teeth in such a way that sent Midna's heart aflutter. "Now take me to yo leada!"

"O0of course, Ganon! Anything for you!" Midna skipped away and soon returned with a dark haired woman that appeared to be exactly 41, had penciled eyebrows and a wide and smug smile.

"Who are you!" the woman shouted, holding up a clove of garlic to fend off Ganon.

Ganon stepped back and screamed before bellowing: "My name is Ganon! It is such an honor to meet you, Miss Stephanie Meyer! I'm such a fan of your books, and I do not know if I prefer Edward or Jacob! In all honesty, I think _they_ should be the main couple instead of Bella and Edward!" He frowned for a moment... "Though maybe one of them could be magically transformed into a girl?!"

Miss Meyer giggled. "Oh, thank you so much, Ganon!" Her face went fierce again. "Now, what do you _**need**_?!"

Ganon cleared his throat and stood tall and proud. "I need to hunt down my least favorite and only naturally created son and kill him before he murdures all the vampires that you fought so hard to save!" He frowned dramatically and hoped it made him look tough, but it really didn't...

"Why of course, Ganon," Stephanie purred, rubbing her hands together in a way that would have made Peter Dinkledge proud. She turned and led him to the mirror, opening the mirror to let him through.

Ganon thanked the woman for her sacrifice and was about to step through, but the twilight queen stopped him. "one more thing, Ganondorf, I will only let you through this mirror alive if you do something in return for me." She smiled even more widely and her makeup began to visibly crack. "I heard that there's a mushroom creature in that very same world that is writing FanFictions about my badly written but best selling books..." She paused for effects before continuing. "I heard his name is Toad, and all he did was change the characters names before publishing the book... And he then received a tomato for his efforts... So I want you to hunt him down and... erhm... punish him in whatever way you see fit, or I shall punish you in whatever way I see fit... MUAHAHAHAH!"


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter Thirty

Shadow stomach rearranged itself, and he realized that he hadn't eaten in at least a day. He began to panick and poked Mario, "What!-a!" Mario asked, making a loud scene that embarrassed the hot hedgehog. "I need food..." he said, a bit ticked on. Mario nodded, holding Kevin and Afleck in his arms so tenderly. Ruchavic was quivering beside them, freaking out over the science of Stanli's transformation. He felt that his father would have loved Mario like his own son, and was tempted to call him brother, but awkwardly backed away.

"MY CHILDREN!" a hoarse crackling and worn voice rang out from the end of the hall, bearing no emotion with a flat blank melody. Macsimillion Acorn came bounding down on a pogo stick, holding his small wife in his hand with care. "COME!" he spat onto Shadow's face, and led the group into a room in the castle's top tower. "YOU PEOPLE CAN SLEEP HERE!" he gestured Mario Shadow Antoine Bunny Robber Peter Kevin Afleck into the room, and they began to sit and arrange there surviving belongings. "YOU MUST BE TIRED, COMING FROM A LONG WAY AWAY..." the king became annoyed, and everyone else was confused. "How does he know we where coming here?" Bunny asked Antoine a bit louder than she inteded, in a thick southern accent that drove Peter Jackson wild. and Macsimillion's baggy face turned and looked at her with empty eyes. "I KNOW NOT NOTHING." they were all scared as he bounded away, and shadow cuddled himself on the floor to prevent starvation. Antoine looked up surprised, speaking for the first time in his life. "Wait, wheres toad?"

The group shrugged, and forgot about toad (the beloved son of Sally acorn,) for the time being. When the night had reached it's full, most were asleep when Macdonald returned. The awake shadow watched as the cutely king fondled his wifes hair as she slept in his hand. He set her tiny self down on the floor next to Mario, and sighed with happiness. Shadow sat up, and Macsimillion watched him. "Why is she so small?" Shadow asked, and the king cried for at least twelve minutes. "SHE WAS ONCE LARGE" he said calmly and quietly, cringing at the sight of Mario's exposed behind. "SO LARGE." Shadow's lower chin quivered, and he asked. "What Happened?" the king looked shadow in the eye. "IT IS A GENETIC RARITY, CAUSED BY WHO-KNOWS-WHAT, VERY FEW ARE AFFECTED, BUT IT CAUSES YOU TO SHRINK. YET SOME ARE BORN SMALL." Shadow nodded, trying to think but failing so hotly.

_**HOW DOES IT WOEk. **_

Small shapeless round red feet bounded across stoney floors, half-buttedly carrying toad alongside them. The poor small boy had no intention of leaving his friends, but when he saw a pewter door at the castle's base, he required assistance in opening it. Toad had threw his hands fiercely above him, and called upon the power of the grate mushroom to open it, but that was a little bit ago. He now bounded down the underground tunnel which the door led to, lightning flashed at the tunnels end, and Toad ran faster, a steady stream of pee'ss flowing from between his legs. A portal appear in his hindsight, and he tried to fly through it. He tripped and began floating swiftly across the sky above him, watching meadows and mountains below him spin and flip. "WEOK!" he finally asked, and was taken back to the ground. "Hehe..." Toad chuckled, he must have witnessed a vision from Stephanie Meyer, and became feeling challenged. The poor boy (with no financial income) slumped down against the stone wall of the tunnel, and began writing more stories on the emergency poo-paper he always had, laughing like a maniac on drugs.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter Thirty One.

Sally was weary; the traveling was getting harder and harder as she continued through the bramble filled forest. Her feet ached and swelled with fluid filled pimples that popped every time she took a step. Her hands were chapped from the cold, rain, climbing trees, and swinging on vines. Maybe they would still be in perfect shape if she were Tarzan... Her face was swollen from bug bites and the tears of failure and shame that ran constantly down her cheeks, and her stomach swelled largely from starvation. But she had a purpose and she would not stop until she succeeded. And she _did_ have Shadow's diary to give her hope...

"Maybe I should just eat it..." she said at last, looking down at the decaying thing. She sighed and shook her head. "No, that wouldn't do. I would lose my purpose if I ate it now." She grinned evilly, and that gave her strength. "But once I do succeed, there will be absolutely nothing anyone can do to stop me from munching on it like a sour banana!" She giggled and climbed another tree, reaching the top and then jumping down to sail across a few more... She would save herself a lot of effort if she just kept walking instead of climbing, jumping, sailing and swinging, but of course it would break her heart if you told her that. So don't!

"Tis the season to be jolly, fa lala lala, lala la la!" she squeaked, brandishing her right boot like a sword and holding the left one bravely like a shield. "Just try and mess with me!" she shouted to no one in particular, laughing like a maniac. "Just try! I dare ya!" she then smiled and placed her boots back onto her feet, feeling better and a little more sane.

The princess skipped over a rock and paused in front of a large tree... It was abnormally large, and appeared to that of an apple tree! The only thing that she did not understand was the sight of a single orange growing from its roots. "Hmm." she thought, bending down to examine the fruit. "What is this doing here, and how could this happen?" She stood to look around the tree to see if there were anymore oranges in the roots, but stopped dead in her tracks when she saw a cabin hidden quite badly (as if by Toad) behind some brush and watched hungrily as smoke was pouring from the top.

"Shelter, a fire place... Food..." she stumbled hazily to the building and pushed stubbornly through the surrounding brush, falling into a clearing and clawing her way to the door. She banged on it several times before it finally opened to reveal a tall blond girl with blue eyes that was dressed in a ratty pirate outfit.

She smiled warmly and helped the princess to her feet. "I've been waiting for you, Sally." "Wha?" Sally murmured, looking up blearily at the girl. "Whoooo are u, exactly?" The girl smiled again as she led the hazy princess to the fire. "Someone that you _really_ want to have on your side, for the good of all. But for now, you may call me Tetra."

_**Toads, and toads, and mushroom heads...**_

Toad sighed happily as he wrote more fanfictions about muslume bloo. "I love this guy," he said with a smile. "he looks like me, but he talks like Mario!" he giggled happily and wiggled his shapeless feet, rearranging the diaper on his large head so it didn't fall off. But for some reason, he felt something gooey squish into his hair... "Oh," he said suddenly, yanking the diaper from his head. He frowned and started crying... "It's full of mental poo! And I have no spare diaper with me." he sniffled and continued crying, clinging to his diaper in hopes that the poo would disappear. Then magically, as if by his wishes, a portal opened and sucked the mental poo into another world! But then after that, it sucked Toad in along with it...


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter Thirty Two"**

"In the beginning there was nothing, and there was no beginning, for nothing ever was. But there was a something, that wasn't really there. That something talked to itself in a ceaseless stream of self-references, so that everything related back to everything else in a way that meant everything and nothing. Therefore, everything and nothing are the same, and are both parts of the same thing that doesn't exist. This is the great mystery of the universe. The marriage of Light and Shadow." Sally flipped the blotted page in the book, disgusted. "There's nothing here." She told Tetra. "Just a bunch of mental poo. I thought Shadow was such a hot-ab, but I guess I was wrong. Even Toad writes better than this." She threw Shadow's sad, drug inspired diary into the fire. "NO!" Tetra screamed, swiftly reaching into the fire to grab the burning book, not caring that her hands burned too. Sally looked confused. "WTF?" she thought, but didn't think it was necessary to lend a hand. In fact, maybe she should push Tetra into the fire even more. Then Sally could take the hut for herself and eat all the food... The chipmunk princess snapped back to reality, startled at her suddenly dark thoughts. She jumped up and helped Tetra extinguish the diary. "I'm so sorry, I didn't realize it mattered so much to you, Tetra." She said, her voice pleading. Tetra grunted. "Well, the fire's out now. Hopefully it isn't damaged too badly." Sally tried to say something else, to find out why the blonde girl cared so much about the book. But Sally's mind was muddled, and any thought she had quickly slipped away. Maybe it was the lack of food getting to her head, or maybe it was the constant stress of trying to protect her kingdom in spite of all the threats from Robotnik. If only Sonic were here, he could share some of the burden, comfort her. But no, of course Sonic wasn't there. _"Don't think about that, Sally. It hurts too much."_ Sally straightened her shoulders and tightened her lips. She looked Tetra in the eye, and put her hand firmly on the diary. "I'd love to show you this, Tetra, but I'm famished. And I _still _don't really know who you are..." Tetra looked up at the Princess, and Sally saw a dark, violent spark in the back of the mysterious girl's eyes, coming from somewhere deep. But it vanished a second later. "Of course. How rude of me. I'll get you something to eat, and then we'll read the diary." Tetra said. She disappeared into a walk in cupboard and came out again. Only she wasn't quite the same. Sally couldn't be sure if was the fact that her hair was parted on the opposite side, or the small dimple working its way through the flesh on the girls left earlobe... "Oh," Sally thought, "Maybe it's the fact that she's only 5 inches tall now." She shrugged, not realizing she had talked out loud. Oh well. Might as well burp, too. So she did. Princess Sally Acorn let out the most horrific, thunder-inducing burp this side of the Knot-Hole. Tetra's feet shvibbled suddenly at the noise, causing her to rise in an uneven manner. "Bejeeus, Sally." She said. "Who knew we princesses could burp so good." And a smile broke across the blonde girls face. All the tension that had existed in the room was gone, gone to who knows where. Maybe it went into Toad's head somewhere and gave him a headache. Tev. Sally laughed suddenly, and Tetra did too. She set the plate down, bending down because she was laughing so hard. The two girls laughed for a good 800 seconds before ending in a comfortable silence. Tetra handed the food silently to Sally, a happy smile still hovering at the corner of her mouth. Sally gulped up the food like a savage. "I haven't laughed so hard since, well, since..." Her voice trailed off as she thought of her blue lover, now gone. She cleared her throat. "Well, not since a long time anyway. Oh, are you a princess too? And, why are you so, um, small now?" she asked. Tetra nodded. "Yes, I am a princess. Or, I _was_. Before my kingdom was taken from me." Her eyes grew distant for a moment, before returning to her newfound friend. "But, lets not talk of that. You have your secrets and I have mine." She said. "As to my size, I walked through a warphole in the cupboard. They're all over the place. I'm surprised you haven't heard of them. I played with them all the time as a kid, and I'm sure there are some in your palace." "But, speaking of secrets. Let's dig a few out of your friends diary now, shall we?"


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter Thirty Three:~

Nikol plunked through the castle dungeons, her metal feet clicking against the cold play-doe floors. "Eh, hehehe," she murmured, dragging her sharp fingers across the walls. "Eee, eeee." She opened the door at the end of the hall and crumpled it in her fist, molding it like clay to turn it into something useful later on. "I Hope I cAn bake it, in an oven." She continued onwards and stopped in the middle, turning to her left to face one of the cells. "I hAve found you," she said to no one, because no one was there. But she opened the cell anyhow, and locked herself in. "I shAll now begin to... yes..." she chewed on the metal door that she had previously ripped off of its hinges and sang happily to herself. "Eh, hehehe, Eee eeee." And then she stopped for a moment. "Oh, yes, I hAve found something."

_**WTF?**_

"HOW?" the king asked in his quiet voice. "hOW IS IT THAT SOMEONE AS HOT AS YOU CAN FAIL AT THINKING?" he turned back to Mario, only to gain another scar at seeing his exposed rear. "AND HOW IS IT THAT THIS MAN CAN SCAR ME FOR LIFE SO BADLY? I MUST LOOK INTO THIS..." he then left, forgetting that his wife was still on the floor next to Mario...

"Um," Shadow asked God very politely. "What just happened?" But god did not answer him; probably because he forgot to write his name with a capital the second time around... "Huh." He got up and walked over to Mario, poking his pimply behind forcefully but soothingly. "Wake up man, we gotsta find a cure for this genetic disease! Otherwise, we mights catch it..."

Mario bolted awake and screamed loudly, waking up the poor water buffalo. "No-a!" he shouted loudly. "I-a woka the-a babbiesa!" he began to cry, and Shadow ran to comfort him. "Ter ter pal, Kevin and Affleck are smart, they know that you didn't mean to yell at them..." and then HE began to cry... "NO!" Shadow shouted. "I'm tah ultimate liform, I can't cry! I can't! Oh I can't!"

"But yur my friend-a, Shad-a-dow-a," Mario said sadly. "Can'ta you crya for meah?" He weeped for several moments, looking down at Kevin's plump feet and gaining an idea. "I-a know-a!" he shouted so loudly that it sent the water buffalo back into a pleasant slumber. "If-a we cry-a a river, we can swim back-a to where-a we came from!"

"Huh?" Shadow asked, twisting his head around cutely. "Where DID we come from?" That earned him a slap in the face from Mario. "Don'ta be stupida!" Mario lectured, cupping Shadow's blushing cheeks in chuby hands. "We-a came-a from Heaven! And that'sa where we-a must return to!"

"Oh, okay!" the hedgehog said brightly. "But um, how do we get there?" Mario's eyes glittered, and Shadow was glad that they were friends. "Through-a H-E-L-L."

"Um, not to interrupt, Sugah," Bunnie's voice drawled. "But why ahr you two screaming and crying so loudly at one in the mornin'?"

"Um," Shadow blushed out, unsure of how to answer his lady friend. "I, uh, was uh, hoping that... You would marry me?" It was random, and completely out of place, but it was all he knew to say and it saved his life. And to Bunny, it made perfect sense. And she knew immediately what her answer was.

"Of course not, sugah! I would never marry you." She shook her head and went back to sleep, wondering why Shadow was so crazy...

"it-a was worth a shot-a," Mario said comfortingly, patting his friend's furry head. "She doesn'ta knowa what'a she's missing, though-a," he pondered out loud. "I-a would-a marry you, if you weren't a hedge-a-hog-a."

Shadow screamed, and it shook the whole kingdom like an earthquake. "Well that would be gross! So gross! don't every say dat again, Merio, curse I would ne're forgive you!" He cried loudly again and began to stalk off. "Now help me find Toad before he drowns in his own poo!"


	34. Chapter 34

_Chapter Thirty Four-_

The chemical reaction from Orland's saliva began to bubble and fiss beneath the first layer of hide on Fyncage's slender finger. He had only one slender finger, and the rest were thick with fat. Phil Coulson looked at the King, as the pair hopped away in a convenient pair of Bunji helping shoes.

"Help me you feathering freak!" Fyncage grasped his gut, remnants of his floss tutu began to shine through, and he quickly downed a pile of acetylsalicylic acid, rather a third party knockoff brand made from yellow thongs.

Phil was confused, she was a freak, but he had called her a _feathering_ freak. She felt her arms begin to bubble, and hairy appendages flulled from her underpit. "I SAID HELP ME DAGNAGIT!" agitated, Fryncage bellowed on, and Phil had no clue, she had lost her human tongue, and remained silent as they hopped along. Though sickly, Fryncage kept a solid steady rythym of hops and hibbles through the grassy tails of Scotland's borders.

Fryncage remembered, that the pope had always kept a pair of antibacterial eyeglasses in his underwear-pocket. So, diligently, Fryncage reached into his pocketed pantie, and depocketed it. He looked into his hand, and saw a bug, whom got up and flew away, farting at Fyncage all the while. "OH You filped me ofh!" Speaking, he tried again, and this time found the eyewear. Fryncage put on the awesome looking glasses (In his opinion anyway), in a way that would have made Peter Dinkledge proud.

Phil, had become a bird in the meanwhile, and flew off to find peace, carrying the rescued Orlando bloom on her back. She was a small eagle, and if Peter Jackson could film it, it would appear to be an elf riding on the back of a massive bird, into the setting son.

Fryncage looked to his side, now aparted from his woe, he jumped to the desert, struggling to keep the personality of Pope Francis at bay.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter Thirty Five.

Nikol breathed heavily in her cell, she did not know why she had locked herself in, and continued chewing on the metal door. The buzz of electronics fizzled in her armor, and she raised her head.

Walking, the dieing cyborg clawed her way free of the bars, laughing all the while "EE EHEEE HEAA!" Meanwhile, Toad pooped himself far away, it was that scary. The metal frame of her body had been repaired since the time in Knothole Underground, and as the philosophical effects of deotoxins left her mind, she began to rise to consciousness.

The confused woman looked around. She was in a dungeon of sorts, and the place felt eerily familiar, she saw a single light coming from the end of the long hall, and the silhouette of a stranger standing before it.

"**I know why you wont remember this place.." **The voice that spoke was deep, and mysterious. **"We built it after the war.. when we began to lose our minds." **Nikol approached the figure slightly, but felt a stinging in her arm, as the metal's poison began to effect her again. **"My family was tormented here. I was tortured here.. we all faced times that night.. but what they did was inexcusable." **Nikol's breathing became heavy, and she fell to her metal knees. The piercing eyes from the darkness came to watch her, and she felt them burn through her soul. **"Don't worry. I'll make sure your face looks the same, as when you were alive." **

Nikol fell to the dust, and her heart beat dimmed. Mineral burned, and screams sounded into the empty corridors, filling the air with blood.

Toad drifted through the mysterious radiation of the portal, he slipped his hand into the back of his trousers, "Ah shoot!" he exclaimed like a wiffernavel.


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter Thirty Six.

It was late at night in Castle Acron, and the group of misfits were mostly asleep in the makeshift guest-room. Antoine was awake, and decided to slit Shadow's throat. Sadly, it was literal. But not so sadly, because Shadows throat was imaginary, not his throat-throat, you understand, but a second pair of esophagus's that he had nearby to squeeze when he was dehydrated. So when Antoine crept forth and slit the throat, Shadow didn't wake, but instead began convulsing, and his nipples began leaking milk, soiling his undergarments and bed sheets. "Wah hauoo beUhkllllooooop!" he gave off a terribly underrated and appreciated startled scream, as his foot began swelling. Mario awoke.

"MY BOI-A! What-a is-a wrong-a with chu?!" the oldest of men jumped forward and grabbed Shadows hand, Shadow's single eyelid parted, and worriedly peeped into Mario's eyebrow. The red plumber gasped, and woke the rest of the group. The others didn't wake, and Mario sat ther worrying until morning, in which shadow actually woke up.

"MY THROAT!" he screamed, drawing the attention of Macsimillyun A-corn, and brought him hopping to. "WHAT IS WRONG MY CHILD" he asked, incredibaly quietly and calm, and Mario almost had to ask for him to repeat himself. "I... I slit his throat.." Antoine admitted with heavy guilt, his ears sagging across his cheeks and causing his beer-gut to appear more like a six-pack. "WHY WOULD YOU BETRAY US SISTER" Macsimillyun asked, and Antoine cried. "I- I was jealous!" he spoke, and Robor, who just awoke, shook his head. "Not a wrothy ekscuse." he said, and as the others woke up, they all agreed. Even Antoine's wife Bunny. "WELL FATHER?" Macsimillynu asked, his voice rising a slight pitch, almost able to be heard clearly. Antoine nodded. As the group fell silent, Shadow wiped his eyes. "I see that I will get no mercy from it..." he stood up and stalked off, pausing before he passed to corner of door-frame. "I need forgiveness is what I need" and Shadow left, leaving the castle and entering the wilderness beyond.

**Lymph Node.**

Tetra was looking through the other half of Shadow's diary, every other page was blank, and she wondered if he had concealed them somehow. "Give me a flame." she said, and Sally stepped forward with her lighter (which she used to smoke cocaine on the weekdays) "Don't you snort it?" Tetra asked, and Sally looked at her. "What?" she said, and the girl shook her head. "Neverbrain it" Tetra brought a spray can of hydrocarbonated gas from the side/back/around side of her pocket/pants, and sprayed it through the flame and onto the page that the book was held open to. Some half-buttedly-hidden ink began to appear, and Tetra nodded. "Fart concealment ink, only one group uses it. Whoever this person is, they must be from the league of Shadows." Sally nodded, until they heard screaming outside, of which she stopped nodding, and turned to stare out the messily open doorway.

**Lymph Node.**

Mario sobbed when Shadow had left, they had made an awesome plan to cry a river and walk through H-E-L-L, and now he was left to do it alone. After taking the buffalo out for a walk and run and poo and pee in the grass outside the castle, he had returned to the room, and saw Macsimellyon's wife sitting on the floor. He noticed a bit of chit left on her forehead, and wiped it off. He suddenly had the urge to cut off his hand, but managed to stop himself, and awkwardly fell through the floor and into the sky.

Antione and Bunny were making out in the corner, and Peter Jackson felt left out. He decide to film and awesome movie with Kevin and Afleck. And Robber wrote mathematics to himself, hoping to convince Toad back into their presence.


	37. Chapter 37

Thirty Seventh.

"_**In the darkness of space the chosen individual found ones self, and took comfort from the poo within his diaper. He dove once, and through into another world."**_

Toad fell into the dust, he spat as he rose and wiped the dust from his arms and legs. His poo filled diaper fell into materialization after him, and fell in front of him now, causing a windy dust cloud, knocking him back into the dirt. "Oh Darn it!" Toad exclaimed, quickly darning his sock as he rose, and bagging his other foot behind his back. He was thankful to Shadow for giving him the spare footbags, and smiled at the thought. He quickly wiped the dirt from his face again, before it leaked into his smile, and wiped the rest of himself clean. He looked around.

The world was dark. The greying dust swirled around in reversed synchronization, causing mass confusion and hysteria in the eyes of those condemned. "Where am I!?" Toad asked, to no one in particular but he was hoping for an answer. "Welcome to Hell."

Toad turned to the voice, and saw a 56 year old man about 5 feet 11 inches tall with long hair and a brown mustache. His beard wasn't quite there and his feet were turned outwards dauntingly. He smoked on a cigarette in which Toad noticed first.

"Who the H-e-L-L are you?!" Toad asked, more annoyed by the constant shimmering of the dullness of the red sky above him, and the fading crust of the earth giving way. The presumed man laughed, noticing the pun after a few minutes of silence.

"My name is Viggo Mortensen." he grinned at Toad, bearing his teeth. "After five years in H-" He began saying, Toad stomped his foot down, causing the man to stop abrubtly. "I KNOW WHAT YOUR'E GETTING AT!" he screamed, and a demon quickly handed him a tissue from behind the stars. Toad flipped everyone off, holding his hand high as he again messed himself. Viggo noticed the soiledness of his frilly underpants, and slowly gestured for him to follow. "Come young thing. We must go to the kingdom of frindges to bring back the primal matter of your pigmented mind."


	38. Chapter 38

38: _Numbers and Names and things in between._

"1+0+2+3+5+-" *scrible scrible* *pause. heavy breathing.* The numbers formed themselves over and over again. The walrus hands kept spinning webs of truth, trying to find expression. He was lost in his own world of mathematical expressions. All he heard was the constant rhythm of his pencil, and the sweet song of numbers.

"What are you writing?" A small voice said. Rotor might not have heard it if it was loud, because he had learned to tune out the constant shouts and sounds of war, while he worked as a strategist for the Resistance. But the sound was quiet, and small enough that it slipped past the line of the walrus' focused attention. Rotor looked up, and then looked down, for that was where the sound came from.

"Um, Queen Acorn. I'm writin ekwashins, just foolin around really." he said, and shrugged sheepishly. The tiny Queen looked intently into Rotor's eyes. "You seem very focused to only be fooling around." She squeaked. "Me thinks you're playing a 'lusus serius' my friend. A serious game." The Queen stared buggishly into the aging walrus' young eyes, trying to intimidate him. Rotor shuffled his rumpkins awkwardly, knowing he had been found out. "Well, au, yis yer majustee. Id be tryin ta bring Toad back inta our world." The Queen nodded, and grinned, happy to have forced Rotor into telling her. "And how can you do that by writing numbers?" she asked. "well, ya see yer majistee, numbers and math are the only great truths in the world." Robald rubbed his paws togther, warming to the subject. "You made my day." He muttered. "That was Kwan." Queeny tilted her head, confused. "Um, heh. But yeah. Math can do stuff. 2+2 is always 4. it's the language of the universe. And when ya know how ta form words rightly, you can jiggle em around n different ways, and make other things. Names and words and worlds. Ya see, the universe is like one single, long word being spoken throughout all of eternity, repeated in different ways to form new things. We can't hear the end of that word until it finishes speakin, but when ya know how it's talked, you can jiggle the syllables around a bit. And move one part of tha word to a different place. Or, if there is another word bein spoke, ya can bring one part of that word into tha middle of tha other. So, I tend ta bring Toad back, by jigglin the words of tha world he's trapped in, and make em back ta ours. See?" During the walrus' long jumbbled speech, the Queen Bee's eyes slowly started turning in circles and unmashing her re-fried brains. She didn't hear most of what Robot said, but she heard enough. "THEN TURN ME BACK TO WHAT I ONCE WAS." She demanded. "Huh?" the robly routed walrus asked, not understanding. For he was less educated than his thoughts. "I wasn't always like I am now." The queen said, nodding at her tiny, human form. "I was once a beautiful giraffe, with the stars of the heavens draped over my back as my clothes. The earth was my footstool, and the Soul of the World was my song. If numbers are so powerful, then write me some, Rotor. Write me back to what I was. Write my name in the Language of the Universe."

Robber nubbled twice. Once for power, and half a time for luck. The other half was for things to come. "Well, um, shur, o'course queeny." But then his eyes grew small and his brain smaller, his stomach got the best of him, and demanded expression. "But, iffin I do this, I need somit ta make it worth mah while." He grinned so evilly. The queen slapped him. "I AM YOUR QUEEN." He nodded, deflated. "But, it's tough. It doesn't always work..." the queen norded. "Fair enough. If you do this for me, I shall do something for you in return. I will fix your name in the heavens, so it doesn't shift and change like so much water. It will be sturdy like rock, and you won't have to wonder who you are anymore. Your name shall be solid, stable. And so will you."

Robler inhaled, and held it. Then he nodded. It was a real nod this time. "Very well." And that was all. He started scribbling again.

"1+0+2+3+5+-" *scrible scrible* *pause. heavy breathing.*


	39. Chapie 3 and 9!

Thirty Ninth.

Maria looked up from her oily hands, "i do enjoy that smell.." she whispered quickly. she realized she had been playing the game far too long, and set down her pieces. An explosion sounded far away and a group of near-naked fugitives passed them, it was dark. The person across from Maria chuckled, and flipped a gun around in his hands. He glanced over the small table-/coffee table, and one eye even caught the light for a moment. Ooh. "This cannot go on forever." the russian voice drawled over the eavesdropping tongues of midgets of bugs playin on guitars, who hid silently in their respected shells, perched quariessly on the poker chips. A deep grinding sound fluttered from Maria as she scooted her foot along tha dirty ground. She coughed, the plague might be real.

"Hieya!" Vladmir awkardly pulled his face from the dankness, smiling as he spilled some blood from his mouth and choked. Maria kicked his heart and he failed again. She pulled his lymph nodes with ease, and the sad russian man from netflix came back to not sleeply. The little girl smiled, her newly side-shaven head with fourteen ties and rows in it began to shake. She adjusted her necessarily convient skimpy headband and laughed, a qaucking qakeing thundering sqaurk which sounded beyond eternity to the land of the mh... "bit' padeniye korichnevogo tsveta." Maria smaekd vladmir with a noddle, and he crid a little. "English tulala!" she yelled hypocriticaly and the man wished he could fly...ano..

"Wallop. Falling. Bor..." he caughed, missing the words spellin. Maria was mocking him, "B—B-b-" she had been chucking, making herself laugh at his mistake. It stopped eventually. "B—Brown." Vladmir spit the last word out. Literally. And when the words was spoking, suspensful and confusing music began to play.


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter Fourty

"Kim jong un has been eliminated." The voice was low and heavy, like a duck trying to speak in water. "He will no longer interfeer with your plans, M'lady..."

"Good gooood, my faithful, small and rebellious minion." The plastic-looking face of Stephanie Meyer stretched as she smiled, even though her fingers were raw from ripping up the hard-covered book: Fifty Shades of, ehem, Blue, written by Toad. "And what of the Russians?" She peered down at his small form, trying to intimidate him.

"That won't work, Miz Meyer," Robert gasped out. "I'm a 104 year old vampire, so you can't scare me!" He shook his puny fist at her and growled, trying hard not to look cute... But of course, it failed.

Stephanie burst out laughing and smoothed down his 'hair'. "Now, now, Berty, tell me about the Russians!" She leaned forward again. "Otherwise, I'll throw you through the warpoe again to make you ant-sized! And then I'll destroy it so you can't return to normal!" She cleared her throat and practiced her evil laugh. "MAUAUAUA!" Not as good as Eggman's, but it worked!

Robert squealed and cowered down like a mote of dust, looking just like Snivly for three and a half moments. "Vladamire is working with your disowned niece, Maria Alvermina Robuttnuke!" He screamed loudly. Though it sounded more like a squeak to her, because of his size...

"What!?" Stephanie blubbered. "You blabbering, flabby, half-crusted fool!" She stomped her high-heeled foot down so hard she broke the heel on her shoe and screamed again. "Go buy me a new set of shoes before we hunt down my rebellious niece!" She glowered at him. "And make sure the heels are taller than _you!_"

"Yes, mistress! No need to get your plastic surgeryed face so twisted it cracks again!" Robert saluted properly, twisting around to leave.

"What was that?!" Meyer picked him up with her pinky nail and sneered in his face. "What did you say to _me?!_"

"I s-said!" Robert attempted. "I s-s-said! All of me, loves all of you! All yur curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections." He paused for a moment. "And God knows you have many of the latter! Though I wouldn't call them 'perfect'..."

Stephanie fumed and started to look like Ganondorf's pig form. "What was that, mister Pattinson?"

The dude gasped again and wimpered faintly. "I said I love you, and I will make sure to hide my rebellious acts against your plans so I do not hurt your feelings and break your heart! Because your heart is very small and very breakable!"

_The woman smiled, pat his head, and set him back on the floor to continue with his mission. "Very good, my puny, rebellious fiend! Now get going!"_


	41. Chapter 41

41

Miles Prower poked along a meushroob in the sky, he felt a beanfat float from his rear-end.. and he gasped. "OH S-H-I! He gasped again. He tucked his puny hand into his trousers and felt the beanfat again. "F-u..ing Sh...t!" he began to scream. "Ahuhuh!" he squealed and farted again, grasping for the beanfat before it faded. Quickly, because f-a-r-t-s and beanfats did not have a long lifespan, he threw it in his face! His eyebrows lifted diagonally on his face just like J Beebs, and his forehead wrinkled slightly. "Go to F...ing H...l you Bas..ard!" he heard a disappointing voice from his nonwashable father, and sobbed lightly at the puzzling beanfat/fart. Miles "Sterte" Prower felt his brow, and noticed a sweet sweat. He knew he was born illegitimate. But that sentence was _**Literaly **_all that his father, Jaden smith, ever said. So, he decided to enlighten him and go to h-e-l-l... "I'm sorry Jesus, my mother... I have fallen to the land of sin..."

"That was very deep, son!" the first thing that Jaden had said to him other than telling him to go to the other place and reminding him of his illegitimacy. So Miles went to h-e-l-l a very happy fox...


	42. Chapter 42

_**charlie!**_

Chapter 42

* pant * *puff * * puke *

The distance between the ground and his face grew closer. It seemed to last an eternity, but was really only 7.35 seconds.

"Wow, the same number as the pH of human blood." Robler's mind wandered to random things as he fell through the Abyss. He was falling through an empty space of brilliant colors and changing light.

He had written the Queen's Name in numbers. In the Language of the Universe. It was the hardest, most confusing equation he had ever written. But it was also one of the simplest. He had tried 300 times before getting the first half right, and an additional 274 times before he successfully encoded the 2nd half. He then had to try 92 different ways to combine the 2 parts before they fit together just right.

He knew when he got it right, because he wasn't able to erase it after that. It stuck to the paper, and the air quivered as the Universe took up the Name. Yes, he remembered just how it happened. Right after he got the name right, a crack in time and space appeared, and sucked his mind in. Or maybe it sucked in all of him. It was hard to tell what was part of him and what wasn't, floating around in eternity like this.

Finally, Robald saw the ground approaching. The swirling colors of light began tunneling in, and he could see his body sleeping on the ground. He was falling towards it, faster, faster...

* bam! *

Rotor's eyes shot open. His head hurt. His face was numb.

Rotor inhaled.

Roter nodded. He inhaled again. "Wow." Rotor said. He tried his name again. It remained the same. "The queen has kept her promise."

The newly named Walrus looked around him.

The sky was dark, and redness spilled out of the edges of the horizon. Redness like blood. Human blood. "With the pH of 7.35-7.45" Rotor's subconscious muttered. The air felt charged, powerful. Like a storm was coming.

At the top of Castle Acorn, right above steeple on the Watchtower of the Church, a brilliant figure emerged. Its face looked vaguely like a giraffe, with the giraffe horns and all. But the body was different. Luminescent and shifting, it took shape in the form of a thousand summer hills, bound to each other by tentacles of night.

The creature was done forming. It looked at the world with eyes unclouded, unguided, and intensely aware of everything.

"Que..." Rotor started to form the word, but suddenly a bolt of energy came from the creature's forehead and blew up half of the forest.

"No! people live in the forest still. They could be killed." Rotor screamed. He faced the creature. "Queen Acorn! Is it you? Why are you doing this?"

The creature never turned it's head, but the walrus suddenly felt the heavy weight of it's vast attention resting on him.

"Ah. My Saviour. Rotor. Yes, of course. I am the Queen, as you once knew me. But that form was merely a prison, that I was stuck in for 5000 years. This is my real form."

"B-but, why are you destroying things?"

"Because that's what I am. Chaos. I bring destruction and death. I am all the unbalenced forces of the Universe, with no direction or care. I am Death, Rotor. And I am Life. I am Freedom."

"What have I done?" Rotor gasped, horrified.

"You have set me free, young one. And for that, I am eternally grateful. Your name is forever stable, like I promised." The being of fire said. "Your name is one of the only unchanging things in the whole Universe now. Even time, winter, and death cannot shake it."

The being of Chaos seemed to breath, and Rotor felt her, or its, attention shift once again.

"Farewell, Rotor. I must go." The thing that used to be Queen Acorn said. And with that, she was gone.

Rotor sat in the castle courtyard, watching helplessly as the forest caught fire and spread. He sat down and started sobbing. His tears fell on the cast-marble floor of the courtyard. The splash of them falling made a rhythm, broken only by the heavy breathing of the shocked walrus.

Then a different sound broke the rhythm, and shook Rotor's attention back to the present. It was a voice.

"Combine the number of times you failed to write the Name. Then add them to the number of combinations of the 2 parts." The dark voice rasped.

Roter did the simple math in his head.

"Um, hm. Lets see. So, 200, er no. 300, plus... 274? Yeah." Rotor nodded. "So, 574 plus... number of combinations..." The bald headed rankovic Walrus looked at his paper. "Plus 92." 574 plus 92 equals..."

Rotor dropped the page in his hand. He swallowed hard.

"666."


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter Fourty Three.

Maria stood against the sky, her blond hair billowing around her. She stroked her chin; once, twice, two and a half point three times. "So," she murmured, poking at the stars with a slender finger that used to be chubby. She turned towards the street below her and sighed. "Vladamir claims that Luigi is sending his men to hunt me down, to get revenge for all the heartbreak I have caused them..." She smiled slowly, a sweet smile that lit up the world for a moment. But then it went dark, and she hesitated. "The Russians will be mine, they must! I must win their trust so that I become their new leader. These Mexicans and pale skinned Americans aren't as tough, nor as willing to get their hands dirtied by the harsh, cold, and ruthless reality that we live in." She twisted around to view her captive again. "Vladedweeb, tell me how to win you and your men's trust."

The Russian laughed and spat at her, blood dripping from his stubbled chin. "You could _never_ win our trust, Rapunzel... We only trust those who would _die_ for us. Not those who want us to die for _them_."

Maria smiled again and swaggered up to him, pointing a blade at his already slit throat. "First off, chubby, m'name's not Rapunzel, it's Maria Alvermina Robuttnuke. Second of all, do you really think that Italian wannabe plumber would _really_ die for you? No, he wouldn't." She paused for a moment and let her lip curl in disgust. "Especially not with such a lame name like Luigi..."

Vladamir Putin sighed and shook his head. "He would die for us, I tink... He is more loyal than Antoine... But he is a plumber at heart, not a leader..." He looked skeptically into his captor's bright blue orbs. "If you want to become our next leader, you must kill Luigi. But I warn you, Rapunzel, he is no easy man to kill. Especially not since he has allied with the Yoshi." He paused and let his words hang in the air. "But why is it that you want our help, anyhow?" He glared at her. "Or is it only power that you long for? Just like your idiot uncle, Ivochanous..."

Maria sighed and began to cry slowly. "All I wanted before, when I was young, was to know the legends of the mysterious Nicage... But then, I was captured by and evil witch named Peach, rescued by the wonderful Stephanie Meyer, betrayed by her squibbling minion Pattinson..." She choked for a moment before regaining her ability to breathe. "I then betrayed Miss Meyer, because of her minion, even though she loved me like a niece! I ratted her plans out to the Korean leader, Kim Jong Un, and after that, she disowned me and sent me through a portal into this strange world..." She looked up to the sky and stroked her chin again. "When I came here, I was taken in by an Italian restaurant owner, Sal Maroni, and learned the ways of mob bossery. After that, I was granted a mafia of my own, and the whole stinken city came to know me as the ruthless mob boss Rapunzel... And that's when I finally learned the legends of Nicage."

"..." The Russian groaned and hacked up a loose lymph-nod. "That did not answer my question."

Maria glared at him and shook her head. "I was getting to that. After I learned of Nicage, I was in awe of his majestic deeds, and I realized that I wanted to be like him. But to do so, I need a much, much larger army than the one I have." She looked up to the sky and reached for the clouds. "I want to rattle the stars, just like he did before he died. And I want the whole universe to know his name..."


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter Fourty fieur

"_Whispa whisper waspal... wassa wuissoo weesie__r..." _The whispers of Sal Maroni grew dim as Viggo and Toad climbed and crested the paintless steel hollow steps of hell. Their feet made utter tappie noises and echoed for literal days.

"Whats going on here?" Viggo Mortensen spoke to Sal, his voice was low and demanding. The short italian chef looked up, his oval head shook briefly, and his M shaped hairline quivered, he had a somewhat half-butted longeing sneering smile equipped on his face. "We're talkin politics.." Although Toad _easily_ knew that this man was italian, his voice was southern, with a thick drawl and sexy twang. Mr. marioni spoke slow and quiet, but the demons all around could hear him for miles.. Miles...

The voice went SO far... that the poor fox boy heard it too.

The red castle chimed as he stepped near, dressed in clothes of the russian military, he was out of his element. Sterte now wished he was back on the battlefield, living and dieing for Mr. Vladimir putinn. But he stripped naked now, (dont worry, his fur was enough to cover his privates.) and smiled at the people, whom be'd perched atop the lefthand tower of the castle of frindges. (Which so happened to be where the kitchen was.)

"What brings you to Hell's Kitchen.. stranger?"

Viggo's question echoed for a long pause, and Miles Prower even slowed his walks as he was scared. "I am Tails!" he shouted back, worriedly recognizing the italian short chef as an enemy of Mr. Putnis. If Sal found out that he had once swore allegiance to that man, his mercy would be short and swift, just like Maroni himself. "Swift! I say." Sal stepped forward with ease, his irratitated foot felt better than it ever had, and he smiled at the newcomer, every one of his single tooth shining in the wind. "How does it have a space in it?" Tails asked, and Sal narrowed his brows. "Pardon?" he asked, and the boy stepped onto the steel stairs, making his way to him. "YOUR FREAKING TOOTH!" he screamed back. Pointing like a child on acid. "IT IS BUT A SINGLE U"HING TOOTH! HOW DOES IT HAVE A SPACE IN IT!"

Sal laughed at the kid as he neared. He waved his six-fingered hand, dismissing the question. He glanced at it, …there was no middle finger... Maroni sighed, "Mweh..." he was saddened.

"Nevermind that Sh.. What brings you here?" he smiled, trying to look warm in the already burning H-E-L-L_H-O-L-E. "Oh.." Tails dropped tiredly to the floor.. and Viggo bit his tongue, annoyed at the distractions Sal had made. Tails was about to speak, but then an creditably blond woman stepped out from the throne-room. "You called, male parent?" it was none other than Sal's daughter, she had a boyfriend in her pocket and a guitar on her shoulder. (she heard him say "Swift", and thought he meant her.)

"Oh nothing Taylor..." maronieay chuckled, glancing at the annoyed Viggo.

"Stop this nonsense!" the Mortensen drew a sword from his buttocks muscle, and pointed it at Sal, then Tails, then Sal again. Toad watched in intense confusion, somewhat distracted by Taylor Swift. "You are delaying my question!" Viggo screamed down at Sal Maroni, who chuckled aquardly.

"Who... I dare ask..." The Mortensen looked at Toad, who was already standing on the towers edge, ready to jump. He glanced at Sal, and the new kid Tails, and even Tay Tay. "Were.. You..."

"Talking Too."


	45. Chapter 45

Fory Fifth Chapter of Crossup.

Tetra looked at Sally, the two girls still stood at the table's edge, holding open the strange diary. An orange glow was coming through the window, and the screaming continued.

Shadow rushed through the flaming woods, grabbing his nuded feet with haste. He sensed his soul near, and pushed harder against the wind. "Woah!" he, piping, said.

Mario stood in the corner of the castle tower of which their guest-room was. He was quietly crying a river, his eyes flashed back into the sky, but he subsided and turned his thoughts back to he-ll. Where he was trying to reach. He heard screaming and sobbing, decidedly rushed to the window, and saw the great fire licking at the trees.

King Fryncage pushed on through the dessert, his bunji helping shoes were out of juice, and he hopped no more. The sand was swirling in the distance, the wind gathering quickly. He pushed himself to one knee, and felt a strange tingling. He looked at his arm, which was shaking. His vision grew blurry as his sight grew distance.. "No.." he whispered. Chaos has been released." He felt a tugging on his weakening shape, and leaped to the side, pulling his body apart from the popes. He struggled, screaming. Crawling throughout the pain of his mind. When at last the pair had separated, he glanced at the man with worry. Pope Francis lunged onto the young Nicage, shouting of revenge.

Rotor was lying on the cold hard ground, oh, he looked up, hearing the screams of Shadow. He was confused, the boy had gone far into the woods, but sounded so near. A huge red tornado burst clear from the burning flames of the forest, and Rotor stood quickly. The dropped page swirled high into the air. "SHADOW!" he screamed. The young hot hedgehog was drifting upwards in the gathering wind. A shape almost mirroring Shadows own body held him in the air. Blue lightning danced in circles around the two, dark eyes, burning with hate turned upon Rotor. _**"Sals ahb whif."**_ the frightened walrus stilled, chilled. The voice had spoken to him before, he recognized it. It's resonance heavy laden with sorrow and confusing intent. He stood watching the lightning burst and shift around the vibrating shape. Then, in a grand flash of blue, streams of fire and light burst from the wind, and in an instant everything disappeared.


	46. Epilogue

**Epilogue:**

**Five years of silence seemed to pass.. and not a word was spoken into the night...**

A Sequel is coming. Stay tuned.


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